Giving The Universe A Reboot

JEZEBEL: Heya, Avid Fans! Welcome to Cat and Muse, the only Internet talk-radio show run completely by fictional characters. (That’s our story, and we’re sticking with it.) I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel. With me, as always, is the lovely, lamentable producer of Cat and Musethe Muse of Tragedy, Melpomene!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE: YO.

JEZ: We’re thrilled by the return of our next guest. We first met him last year, and I have to say, I haven’t stopped thinking about him. [SIGHS HAPPILY] He’s just so yummy.

50 cent house burns down

MEL: SEXY BEAST.

JEZ: You said it, Mel. He is. And he’s in another novel! Here’s what Romantic Times has to say about CODESPELL: “This third book featuring hacker extraordinaire Ravirn is every bit of a fast-paced, energetic, page-turner as its predecessors. Ravirn continues to be a fascinating protagonist, and the chaotic twists of the plot carry the reader through to the end.”

And he is fascinating, all right. And gorgeous. And powerful. And[FANS SELF]

MEL: GETTING OFF TRACK.

JEZ: Whoops. Where were we? Oh, right. Reviews. [READS CUE CARDS] From Publishers Weekly: “A hint of cyberpunk, a dollop of Greek mythology and a sprinkle of techno-magic bake up into an airy genre mashup. Lots of fast-paced action and romantic angst up the ante as Ravirn faces down his formidable foes.”

Ooh, romantic angst! Poor Ravirn. Heh.

MEL: LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD.

JEZ: Boys and girls, give a standing, screaming O for the return of Kelly McCullough’s fantabulous star of WEBMAGE, CYBERMANCY and now CODESPELLRavirn!

[APPLAUSE, AND SOME DROOLING FROM THE HOST]

CodeSpell

Heya, sweetie!

RAVIRN: Hey, Jez. It’s great to be back on the show.

JEZ: Thanks, sweetie. Love having you. [WINKS] It’s been a while since we’ve last spoken. Are you still pissing off Fate?

RAV: Well, at this point, pissing off Fate is a function of my breathing. As long as I’m doing it, Fate’s pissed off.

JEZ: Bless me, you’re still witty. And still gorgeous. [SIGHS DREAMILY] Last book, you were flitting off to the underworld to do the hero thing and save the world, yada yada. Is there more of the same in CODESPELL?

RAV: No underworld, thank all the gods. Hades has made it clear that if he ever catches me there again, it’s all over.

JEZ: Literally. So what’ve you been doing? Playing Nintendo?

RAV: Actually, I’ve mostly been working on the next book, the one that comes out a year after CODESPELL. It’s called MYTHOS. It turns out the gods have been lying about the way the universe works. Gods lying…now there’s a surprise.

JEZ: I’m shocked. So, details. What happens in MYTHOS?

RAV: I can’t say much, since it’s still under wraps.

JEZ: Heh. A plug **and** a taunt. Well played! Now, enough with the disclaimers. Gotta give me something. And take that as you will. [WAGGLES EYEBROWS]

RAV: Picture one of those Mac vs. PC ads, with Eris and Loki in the speaking roles. [PAUSES] Okay, so that’s really more of Mac vs. Mac ad, but you get the picture.

JEZ: Gorgeous and geeky. Yum

MEL: FOCUS POWER.

JEZ: Yeah, yeah, I’m focused. I’m focused on Ravirn. By the way, I love the look, sweetie. Have you gotten sexier since I last saw you?

RAV: [BLUSHES] Depends. Is scar tissue sexy?

JEZ: Unholy Hell, yes

RAV: Well, I am getting kind of fond of the glow-in-the-dark eyes, but they’re not so popular with Cerice.

JEZ: Oh, right. [SNIFFS] The girlfriend. Well, maybe. [PERKS UP] And then there’s Eris, goddess of discord and the sworn enemy of Fate, as well as your mentor. Maybe. And there’s Tisiphone, one of the three Furies and thus one of the most powerful entities in any author’s universe, who just happens to have a crush on you. And that’s a definitely. [GRINS] Let’s go the Paris route: which of …

Related posts: Jediism, English bulldog, Yaahoo, Preakness time, Grindstone road