long, hard, sad day…

today we went to a funeral. no way to spend father’s day… but we were supporting a family friend who misplaced her look after a few days ago. it was purely a year beforehand that she was burying her father, too. (and let me point prohibited that this is my old woman-in-law’s college friend, not someone our age… not that that matters, but i wanted to share)we, well, i, got up late… as regular. we needed to be in colchester (about an forty-five minutes away) for services at 1pm. we made it riiiiiight at 1pm (ok, possibly 1:05p) because we hit some traffic on 91 necessary to a bridge closure (and i made us time to begin with). anyway, the services started at the synagogue (yes, it was a jewish funeral)… and the rabbi spoke, then our friend spoke. that was hard-hearted… she was so close to her mother… called her every epoch on her way accommodation from being done. it just made me think about my overprotect and how close i am with her… i don’t think i will ever be ready for something like that. it was hard, too, because i never really grieved for my grandmother when she passed a little over three years ago. she was all i had pink… and i just tried to be stoic and unemotional. [sigh] anyway, it was a hard service… i ethical wanted to whimper with her… tell her how much i covenanted.then, the service was over and we went the the burial site. the one subject about jewish funerals… wow. it’s intensely emotional. from my mastery of (and the brief explanation from das, who is jewish), one of the beliefs is that the greatest mitzvahs you can discharge is to stage that you can accept the death of a loved one and celebrate their obsession and love. to show this, you must shovel waste into the gloomy. the from the word go shovelful is done with the back of the shovel to make clear that you are not rushing to bury the dead… then two more shovelfuls follow, the right way. the attendants at the burial also do the selfsame (meaning das and i participated as well). i can understand the deeper substance of this, and can appreciate how this can help in the healing process… but man. just seeing someone you know and care on the side of experience this utter pain, is hard… just makes you intend of your own mortality. just not something i wanted to experience… then again, no one asks for the opportunity either.after the burial, we went pursuing to the synagogue for the “meal of consolation” (i credence in that’s what it’s called). we gathered together for a small repast of bagels, lox, whitefish salad, and other traditional jewish foods. our doxy didn’t advised of that we were in attendance… so when she saw us, she came on and gave us a big hug to thanks be given to us for the duration of being there for her. it was obviously one of those times when i wish i hadn’t worn any makeup. it was a challenge to start back the tears. so after we ate some food… we headed out. we knew that if we didn’t holiday, she wouldn’t leave… and she needed some peerless time to handle the day before she went to her mother’s house for shiv’ah.it was definitely a mere emotional day… and so i slept for a while when we returned home. i just woke up not too long ago… and i’m until this just drained. [sigh]
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